I think every blog I read did a monthly recap at the beginning of the month, but I kept putting mine off because there was so much, or more likely because I am really lazy.
Anyway, July was a big month for me I had a revelation of sorts, and I made a rather huge decision that is effecting my life in a big way. I decided to move out of my parents house.
I turn twenty-one at the end of this month, and it feels like 'it's time'. I went back and forth weighing the pros and cons and I knew I had to do it, there has been a lot of stuff that contributed to my decision. In all honesty, I am a people pleaser to the point where I let myself suffer for it, I guilt myself into things all the time.
I need to detach myself from certain people, who take far more of me then they should. My parents and I were talking about my decision, and they said they noticed me becoming a more irritable and unhappy person the last few years.They were right, I am usually more of an upbeat optimistic person, life has been taking it's toll.
I refuse to change into that person, I have realized that I need to step away from everything. I need to let go of other people's problems that I put on my self, and as selfish as it sounds I need to focus on me, and what God's will is for my life.
Luckily, I am moving in with my best friend. That alone has got me excited, well technically, I am moving into my Aunt's and Uncle's but don't worry I will be paying rent. It's quite the distance from where I live right now, about two provinces away.
Cons to this choice are.
My family. I am super close to my parents and siblings and I'm not sure how I will fare without seeing them everyday.
My job, I was working as a nanny for some family friends. It was the perfect job for me, something along the lines of five days a week, only at night, one exceptionally well behaved kid.
My music, I just passed my grade one violin exam. I was going to take my grade three in Piano. I have really great teachers. Who care about my music, and help me face my fears. My violin teacher, took me to my exam played with me free of charge, and took me out to Starbucks afterwords. She assured me I would pass even though I was so nervous. I don't know if I will be able to find such a good teacher again. This is a video of a recital I did, it's terrible and I was so nervous. My bow hand was shaking.
Friends, My one friend just moved two hours closer, and now I am moving father away. I only had one other really good friend here, but she was a great one.
So that's what is happening in my life a lot of life changes, packing, cleaning, working, and trying to spend time with each of my nine siblings.
I hope this post wasn't to much of a drag, here is a short clip of me, my best friend, and cousin singing 'Sadie's Hawkins Dance'