3 Nov 2015

Kiss My Eyes Snippets

I just reached about 8,000 words in my Sleeping Beauty retelling that I am writing for the Rooglewood Press Contest. It's been going great and took some turns I wasn't expecting.  For instance there is apparently a war with the fey, and some very villainous trolls and goblins. I just really wanted to throw goblins in there for whatever reason, and ever since I watched Labyrinth I have wanted to do my own twist. So I might put a Goblin King in there as well, I know this all seems like a jumbled mess, but it makes sense to me sorta.

 Anyway, I thought I would share some snippets, and even if your beta reader there is some from the parts I haven't sent out yet so enjoy.

     I would be very lucky to find either of them. Father was busy making laws, fighting wars, and being  a rather lousy diplomat.  Mother was busy finding eligible princes who would need to wake me from my enchanted slumber. They both had been avoiding me, and I'm not sure if they were feeling guilty or if it was simply too painful to see me. Their only heir, both blessed and cursed by fey was to be taken from them.


    Father stood at a table covered in maps. Dark blue robes, covered his imposing figure. His voice hoarse and quavering, echoed through the room.
    "Hang the court, Edward. We need to think strategically and throwing parties is not strategic." He threw a small dragon figurine at his impeccably dressed adviser.
     The poor man didn't even blink, proving that this was a daily occurrence.


     All of this I already knew, we had been at war with the fey all my life. I was the catalyst. My birth brought about the end of a golden age. The maids had  told me stories. Glorious stories of golden trees, magic, and dragons. A time when the impossible had in fact seem entirely possible.
     Then I came, and as it would happen carried the last trace of that magic. it just happened to be tangled up with a curse.


The troll bridge had been one of our favorite spots to play when we were younger. It was small with  peeling white boards and was the connection between two of our fruit gardens. Aden had convinced me that there was a troll living under it, that would turn me into one if I ever dared to cross it. So of course I had to prove him wrong by clomping over it, with all the false bravado a six year old could muster. I gained his respect and he gained my companionship.

    I twisted and looked down into the inky darkness below me.  It was cold and unwelcoming, but a small part of me wanted to let go of the wall and plunge into it. I don't want to be scared of the unknown any more.  If I stayed I would never leave, and that scared me more than leaving.

    I stared at the fallen guard, "Are you bloody mad?"

    Aden replaced the stopper, his teeth glinting in the moonlight. "You got out, then."
 "I'm here aren't I." I said, he was such an exasperating toad.

     He narrowed his brown eyes at me, "That dress is a problem."

     I smoothed the skirt, "I am aware, it happened to be all I had."

   "That's what I get for taking a princess," he mused.

He put his finger, to his smiling mouth, and crept onto the creaking bridge. He set the chocolate in the middle, and dashed back, and all but hid behind me.

I rolled my eyes at him, but still found myself whispering, "What did you do that for?"

His eyes narrowed as he looked at me, "For the Trolls." He whispered.

For once I wasn't feeling reassured, I was terrified. I could run home and await my demise, or I could purpose to change it. I grabbed his hand, a hand that had held mine through many lighthearted romps and invented games. It was different now, the stakes were high. We were no longer dueling with imaginary foes. My life was being taken from me, and I wanted it back.

 "She's a royal," It spat at Aden. Somehow managing to look even more menacing than before.

   "I didn't know that would be a problem for you, Gorge." Aden said, looking almost contrite.

    Gorge hissed again, "She is the cursed one. She is not just a royal, she is a death sentence."





  1. ADEN!

    Ahem. Sorry. . .

    Wait, trolls who will take chocolate as a peace offering? I like it! I vote that chocolate should be considered as plausible peace offering material on all levels.

    "If I stayed I would never leave, and that scared me more than leaving."-- Wow. Deep, that. It's like Rachel looked into my soul or something.

    That last one. O_o What is going on? Agh! I wants to know!

    1. XD I am so happy that you like Aden.

      I agree chocolate solves everything.

      Funny because when I wrote that line, I was like this is me not Rachel.

      Things, things are going on. :)

  2. That last snippet is really intense! And a name like Gorge... makes me think of someone who gorges on humans!

  3. Amazing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. your welcome
    you are such a talented writer keep it up don't ever stop

  5. Keep when I saw this post's title I may have fangirled just a little. :)
    Loved all the snippets, especially that last one! Your story sounds really exciting and fast-paced. :D

  6. Really! that is so cool. :D
    Thank you, it does seem to have a lot of action scenes.
    If you ever want to read it, just let me know :D

  7. Oooh, snippets! Loved this - it sounds like a cool story and I'd love to read more :) Is the title an AFI reference?

    Oh, and if you are game, I tagged you for the Dragon's Loyalty Award ;) don't feel obligated - but do feel free to break the rules if you accept: http://rlhendrian.blogspot.com/2015/12/dragons-loyalty-award-with-lots-of.html

  8. Thank you so much! I hope it's a cool story when I'm done with it. I would love you to read the whole thing if you wanted to, I'm trying to get as much feedback as possible. :D Your the first person to ask that and Yes, yes it is.
    Thanks for the tag, I will hopefully get around to it, I really enjoy doing them.

    1. Take your time. And I was really the first person to spot the AFI reference? Wow. The Miss Murder video and the Love Like Winter video were two things I watched, uhm, too many times while writing a particular character in one of my fantasy novels, and I think they affected my brain. Not that I'm complaining, or anything.

      Sure, I would love to read it! (this is kind of late, as I've had little time to be online this month), but if you still want readers . . . My work schedule should calm a little bit now that Christmas is here.

    2. You were. Those were the first two I saw of them too, their music is great for characters. I listened to the prelude on repeat.
      That's awesome,it's amazing to me just that you would want to.
      I will probably leave my email in a comment on your blog.