29 Aug 2016

"It's Miserable and Magical"

I turn 22 tomorrow.

I am still not sure how I feel about that, for some reason I feel more affected by this one then my 21st.

I don't even feel twenty and not maturity wise or anything, I feel nearer to 30 in my mind sometimes. It's more like I feel young in spirit. I am a well of inspiration right now, and I want to spend my days painting, drawing, reading, drinking tea and coffee, eating sweets, and basking in the sun.

This is obviously not a very realistic state of mind to have, especially at 22. I feel like every age comes with expectations and once you reach your twenties you are expected to have your life together, or at least be getting it together.

I have fall into neither of these categories. If I was being honest I have nothing together. Believe me when I say nothing.

That's the miserable part, I am a perfectionist with some OCD tendencies. So the fact that I don't have my life sorted out, drives me crazy. People also love to point out the things they think you are doing wrong, and I seem to do a lot wrong.

Yet in spite of all of this, I am happy. I like that I am not tied down or committed to anything, how my life is going to turn out at this point is anyone's guess. I have my dreams and hopes for the future, and I am going to chase those.

I am leaving it up to God where I go from here, and that is the magical part.



26 comments:

  1. Happy birthday, dear. <3

    It's okay not to have it all figured out - gives life spice and mystery. I'll keep you in my prayers. :)

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    1. Thank you :)

      That's true! Your so sweet!

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  2. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST SKYE! ^_^ I hope you have a fantastic one! <3

    This post is so me it's scary. O_O I'm not to the being-happy/content part at the end yet though. XD So I applaud you. I'm 21 and have nothing figured out either... But I think you're doing great and that it's okay to not have everything figured out. *hugs* It'll come. ^_^

    HAVE A GREAT DAY! *all the confetti and cake for you*

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    1. THANK YOU DEB! It has been so far.

      Well I am glad someone relates, I feel pretty alone on this. Aww that's so sweet of you to say *hugs* <3

      I SHALL!

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  3. Happy Birthday!! We can be birthday twins! I think it is perfectly well and acceptable to not have everything figured out. I wish you luck and calm as you start the new year and figure things out in your and God's good timing.

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    1. Ya, how perfect. I am starting to think so too. It's fun and spontaneous. Thank you! <3

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  4. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I hope you have (or had?) a good birthday!

    It must be nice to not be tied down or committed to anything. I hate expectations. What is it with people and their expectations of others? It makes more sense to make expectations for yourself, not for others. Meh.

    Staying inspired is awesome too!

    Love the photo! You're beautiful!

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    1. Thanks! I had a great one.

      It is nice, but kind of stress me out. The expectations drive me nuts.

      I will try.

      Aww, thanks!

      Delete
  5. IT'S MY SKYE'S BIRTHDAY!!!! :D Happy birthday! I hope you've had the absolute BEST day!

    And, girl! I know where you're coming from. I'm 24 (nearly a quarter of a century!!!) and never went to college, never had a boyfriend, only JUST got my first job and it's a little nothing of a thing, still live with my parents, etc., etc. In the world's eyes, I'm a total failure. But in GOD'S eyes, He has me precisely where He wants me. The majority of my friends are married, even have kids! Or are going to college and making careers and all sorts of things. But that's not the life for ME. I want to stay at home and write books and encourage people on my blog and be with my family. I'm GLAD I'm not tied down by kids and a job. That's not the life God planned for me. And I think that's awesome. It's awesome He wants you and me to live unique lives, different from your standard worldly life. I'm so glad you're happy with where you are. You go spend your days drawing and writing and making beautiful things and just being YOU. Because you are an amazing person!

    Happy birthday, dear Skye! I hope you have the most magical 22nd year! <333

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    1. Awww!!<3 Thanks, I had an awesome day!

      That made me feel a lot better, just knowing that someone else is going against the grain too. I think your doing it right!I'm glad we are both embracing our uniqueness. Thank you for sharing, it really encouraged me.
      Your so sweet!!

      Thank you! I hope you have a magical year, yourself. <3

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  6. HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY! *dances around with confetti* :D

    I don't get why other people need to set expectations for others, everyone's different, but I'm glad that you're going to focus on the positive and keep chasing your dreams.

    I absolutely love the photo! <3

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    1. Thanks!!

      Me either, it can be really frustrating. People talk though, I am learning to get over it.

      :D Thanks!

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  7. Happy belated birthday, Skye!! BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR EVERYBODY HUZZAH!! And also I totally get this...I turned 22 in January and the fact that there are SO many expectations for people in their 20s is absolutely terrifying. :/ I just want to write and read and blog and....basically retire? Haha. Yes at 22 ahem. (But the artist's life is SO AMAZING I just want it all the time.) I think it's perfectly okay not to have one's life sorted out at 22, but I do understand the pressure so well! But anyway I hope you had a lovely day (with cake) and that 22 is a good year for you!!

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    1. Thanks, Cait!!!
      Oh, were the same age, that's so cool. I hate the expectations. Same, the artist life is all that seems to appeal to me, I might starve but you know... worth it.
      I did, thanks for commenting!

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  8. HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!! I hope that you had a great one!
    Honestly I think that nobody really has it all together, and if they tell you otherwise they're just really good at faking it. It's ok to not know what you're doing. So long as you're following God, you're good. :)

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    1. Thanks! It was really good, nothing fancy just how I like it.
      I am starting to think that's true. Even I am good at faking it sometimes. That's the only thing that gets me through, God has always been there for me. :)

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  9. Happy late birthday!!! And I LOVE THIS POST! <3 I'm exactly the same (perfectionist with OCD tendencies), and it can definitely feel so frustrating when you feel like you're not moving anywhere. But I love how you turned it back to God at the end. As long as we keep our eyes there, it always turn the way He planned it and it will definitely be magical. :D


    Alexa
    thessalexa.blogspot.com
    verbosityreviews.com

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    1. Thanks, I'm glad you liked the post. It sucks doesn't it.
      I am trying to be more optimistic this year.
      :D

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  10. Happy 22nd, Skye! I hope it was a wonderful one. I completely agree on you with this one. We're all where we're supposed to be right now, and we just need to leave it up to God to direct us, it's no good stressing. (-: And I'm sure that the right thing will come along at the right time. It always does. You know, it's funny, another blogger I follow was talking about something similar and it was really inspiring and encouraging to me. http://aimeemeesterwrites.blogspot.com/2016/09/hi-im-mess.html
    Have a great year, and I know that if you are open to them, God will make amazing things happen in your life. <3

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    1. Thanks! It was, one of my best actually. Yes, stress does nothing. I'm sure it will, something has got to work. I read it, I love Aimee's blog her posts are always encouraging.
      :)I think it's going to be a great year.

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  11. HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY, SKYE!

    You can get through this thing. Everyone is messy and flawed and we're all in this together. you can do it. <3

    // katie grace
    a writer's faith

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  12. I'm a bit late, but happy birthday!!! I hope you had a great one! This was a really beautiful post!:)
    -Emma-

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    1. Thanks, it was really good. Glad you think so.

      Delete
  13. Happy birthday! It was a little while ago, but ... yeah. Hope you had a lovely day and are continuing to bust society's expectations in an awesome and punk rock fashion.

    Love the photo and LOVE the new design, it's gorgeous! I'm completely sold on white backgrounds, they are lovely. Happy birthday again my dear :*

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    1. Thank you!! I will try, all I want to be is punk rock :D

      I'm so glad you like it, your so sweet!!

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