Stumbling back into the blog sphere like.
I have been doing a lot of re-evaluating this month.
Sorting, organizing, and discarding.
Not just with physical stuff, but with everything really. The hardest thing for me to sort through is all of my digital clutter.
Word documents, pictures, videos, social media things, it's ridiculous.
I have a tendency to just open a word doc and write something for a book down, fail to label it and put it in some obscure file. The result is a scattered puzzle piece effect, where I have to search for different parts of my books, and then try to piece them together. (why do you do this to yourself)
Another one of my weird habits, is to plan a photo shoot take over 200 hundred shots, with only 20 of those being good. Then I fail to delete the bad ones and Photoshop the good ones. (this makes me crazy)
Or filling folders of book ideas, and picture ideas but failing to execute them.
These are the habits I am trying to change, along with writing or editing a book getting about a paragraph done, and then rewarding myself with five episodes of whatever I'm watching at the moment.
I know this makes me sound like a scattered brained procrastinator, which is true but I am also a perfectionist. So you can see what kind of pain I cause myself on a daily basis.
My perfectionist side tries to balance all this out, by making lists, organizing, and adding more projects to the mess.
My perfectionist side has me writing more than three books at once.
Reading more than five books at once.
My perfectionist side is only happy if I am doing anything and everything, and that all of these things are done flawlessly.
So in reality, nothing gets done, I get depressed. My lists and things to do just get bigger and more impossible.
I am cutting the fat.
I can't do everything at once, I can't be everything at once.
I can allow myself rest.
I can allow myself to do one thing at a time.
I need to allow myself to celebrate one accomplishment, before diving into the next.
I'd rather have one good book, then twenty bad ones. Quality is better than quantity. I want to be invested in what I do. I want to live with purpose.
So this was more of a note to self, but I digress.
My internet has been terrible, so I just sit at the computer, shouting.