I posted consistently eight weeks in a row, I am surprised as you guys probably are. Consistency has never been my thing. I want to say that things are getting better, I want to say that I'm overcoming my problems and not being consumed by them. This would be a lie.
If I am being honest this is one of those weeks where I would've skipped posting. Because when I'm feeling like this is when I withdraw, I hide. It's easier that way, I don't post anything I regret. Nobody notices my sadness because they never see it.
I don't like people to see it, because who wants to be that person. The one who brings everyone down because they are in a mood. I feel bad now, knowing that this post is going to be mixed in with a bunch of book reviews and probably fairly happy posts. I like being the eternal optimist, that was how I defined myself for pretty much most of my life. I can't keep it up the charade anymore, and nobody is more disappointed than me.
I'm okay, that's the truth. I don't want anyone to worry. I am okay, and I'm sure by next week I will have a better post. For now I am just going to give you guys a list of things I do when I am feeling this way.
1. Music (sad music is the best for some reason, and make sure you sing along.)
2. Eat something good (probably fattening but I digress)
3. Reflect ( look at old pictures, journal, make a plan)
4. Read an old favorite ('Howl's Moving Castle' is my go to)
5. Tea ( tea with plenty of milk is so therapeutic)
6. Let yourself cry ( it can make you feel better)
7. Breathe ( give yourself an hour to just relax, forget everything)
8. Pray (This is probably the only one that is an actual solution)
9. Clean yourself up ( a bit of soap can do wonders)
10. Finish something ( it will bring your morale up)
Try some of these out if you want. As I'm writing this; my hair is greasy. I chugged two blue raspberry, Kool-Aid jammers, and I'm listening to Mr. Brightside by The Killers, honestly what the hell do I know.