I never thought of myself as an overachiever, but then I also used to be under the assumption that I was normal. So it's already clear I am a horrible judge of character. At twelve I had my life planned out to a T and at the time it all seemed perfectly achievable.
I was going to be a published author by sixteen.
I was going to be making money and moved out by eighteen.
I would get my license at the correct age.
I would have a job, and age appropriate friends ( in other words be somewhat social)
I thought I would have the perfect body and clothes.
I'm sure I thought that I would have or had a boyfriend at some point.
I'm here to tell you that I have accomplished none of these things.
I only really care about first one now, but I digress.
The point is, I was once like everyone else and I'm not now, not even close. Who knew so much could change in nine years. Not only my priorities, but almost everything about me.
Anyway lately I have been feeling a little lost, like Sherlock at a party. I don't fit and maybe I never have.
The old me would be freaking out right now at this realization, I would've immediately tried to fix myself , to change myself. To conform so I would be accepted. I no longer want that.
It's nice to know that I stayed true to myself, that just because people told me I would do certain things and become a certain way I didn't.
I think I have finally accepted myself, apart from the fact that I always want to improve in everything. I think I like myself.
Now don't get me wrong it's not as if I have hoards of people who are out to get me. Most of these people care a great deal about me they are just worried about the wrong things, or have misconceptions about me that are far from true. Misconceptions such as.
Writing is a hobby.
I am incapable or to lazy to get a real job, and to scared to move out on my own.
I am incapable of getting my license
I'm antisocial and can't make friends
I'm letting myself go
I'm lonely and I need and want a boyfriend, but can't get one.
These are all untrue of course, but that doesn't matter, it doesn't stop people from thinking them or mentioning them.
It doesn't stop their offhand remarks from getting to me, some days I stay quiet I don't even attempt to defend myself other days it gets to me. It makes me question everything.
I guess it's because life is hard enough, and I already to try to live up to my own insane expectations, I already don't feel good enough, and having people tell me all the things they think I need to change doesn't help.
I hate when they pity me for choices I have made, and just because I choose to live my life a different way. Life is too short to follow the rules, and stay between the lines. I want to take risks, a normal boring life will always be waiting for me. I'm not sure where I was going with this but, my point is it's hard to be different.
Very hard, and very few people will celebrate your uniqueness and not try to change it. Don't let them those people and their disapproval shape you.